Show Me Where It Hurts

The foundation of a house in the Lower 9th Ward left as monument and testament to the destruction wreaked by Hurricane Katrina

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Three weeks in a row, after we
have made the obligatory trips
to Café du Monde and the French Quarter,
I drive visitors to the Lower Ninth Ward
to see the empty lots and abandoned homes.

First, we go to the base of the levee
and climb to the top. The Mississippi
is flat and calm, the shore crowded
with the skeleton trunks of trees,
tangled and sun-bleached, wolf grey.

Then we drive slowly through
the deserted neighborhoods,
slow enough to avoid gaping potholes,
to peer into gutted houses
rotting in the clutches of weeds.

“Did it flood here? How high?”
We seek out the damage,
want to know the numbers dead,
a morbid arithmetic weighed against
our paltry experiences with loss.

I’ve only lived in New Orleans
for three months. More than six years
have passed since Katrina
crashed to land and showed us
what failure and breach can mean.

The careful remembering of smells,
of fleeing, of a snake’s white skeleton
dangling from the branch of a tree,
uprooted, has been a task for others.
I recall only the dull glare of a tv screen.

As a child I fell often and my parents,
gathering me up, would say,
“Show me where it hurts”:
by pointing here, I gave my pain
a witness and therefore an escape.

So I take my friends over
the bridge, looking for destruction.
We go for the same reason we are drawn
to cemeteries and to looking at scars.
We want to point to where it hurt.

But the injury is not our own;
it belongs to you and your songs.
And though we don’t say it
we know we’re just voyeurs
on your landscape of pain and rebirth.

What do you think of our prying eyes,
you who rebuilt your ruined, reeking
houses brick by brick? Still, we seek
traces of all that came undone,
hoping that by looking we might see.

But the potholes are not deep enough.
The tearing of the walls, the cankered rot,
the bridge across the river and the road home
are not enough to be enough
at all.

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2011 in review

Happy 2012, everyone! WordPress sent me this cool report about my blog in 2011. Any interesting fact: most of my visitors are from the United States, but they’re followed closely by followers in Finland and Tanzania! Cheers to my Finnish friends :)

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 5,000 times in 2011. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 4 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

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For Salma

The hardest part about traveling is surely the friends you leave behind. Today I learned from my dear friend Brian that Salma, our neighbor anfriend in Bagamoyo, Tanzania in 2007, died sometime in the past two years due to complications during a botched surgery. Salma was one of the two “house girls” that lived with the Dihenga family next door to the Kunjombe’s house where I stayed. Her wild laugh, exuberance, and absolute kindness are still vivid in my memory. The day I left Bagamoyo to return to the United States, Salma paid a man with a film camera to come take photos of us. When I returned to Bagamoyo in the fall of 2009, Salma had the photos from that day in an album next to her bed. She also had a baby who was only a few months old. Brian was not able to find out what happened to the child after Salma’s death. The sadness I feel about Salma’s death bears with it a certain shame that I could not be with her and that it took me so long to find out about her passing. I’m also reminded that the injuries I sustained in Tanzania would certainly have been fatal if not for my relative wealth. I am sick with anger at the injustice that I should survive when she did not because of this fact.

The first time I said goodbye to Salma, she pressed me to tell her when I would return. “As soon as I can, ” I promised. “It’s very expensive. But maybe in a year or two.” She was solemn (and Salma was never solemn) when she replied, “Ah yes, but I may be dead by then. You will come back, and they will say, ‘Oh, sorry! Salma is gone, she has died, you are too late! She is buried deep!’” I was nineteen years old then, and I don’t think she was much older. “Don’t be silly,” I said. “You are young.” She looked at me and shook her head. Then she laughed and pulled me into one of her signature hugs: arms wrapped my neck, face pressed against my cheek, and her weight bouncing against me as she jumped up and down. I hugged everyone while my host father Jimmy helped load my bags into a waiting taxi. As the car pulled away, Salma and Gracie, the other house girl, were jumping and  singing “Happy Birthday”; they waved until I was out of sight.

Below is a short excerpt from a chapter of the travel memoir I wrote about the time I spent in Bagamoyo. It describes the first time I met Salma. For context, Jimmy was my host father and Kenny was his two-year-old son. Rest peacefully, sweet Salma. Nakupenda wewe. Asante kwa urafiki yako. Nitakukumbuka na wewe daima. Lala salaama na mungu.

***

When I woke up my feet were sticking out from under the net and all of the sheets were twisted beneath me. The door creaked. When I looked up I saw two wide eyes lower than the doorknob and a small hand wrapped around the wood.

“Hello. Are you Kenny?”

The eyes continued to stare at me.

“Come here,” I said softly.

He disappeared behind the door. I heard his feet slap against the concrete floor. A few minutes later I was still in bed and I heard the small feet approach again. They stopped at the door. I didn’t look. After a few still moments, they came closer. A hand touched my hand. I turned to face him slowly.

“Mambo.”

He looked at me for a long time. He had a long face and short curled lashes like his mother’s.

“Poa,” he whispered.

Then he turned and ran away. Jimmy was right. Kenny did look like his mother.

“Labeckah!” Jimmy’s voice stopped me from drifting back into sleep. “You are sleeping all day and all night! Are you alive? Should I call the hospital? I will tell them, ‘oh I am so sorry, Labeckah has died!’”

“I’m up.” I called, and shuffled out.

Jimmy was in the doorway, and Kenny was behind his left leg, clutching it with both hands.

“You have met my son Kenny. He is two yeahs old. He is a good, strong boy. He is named after an American woman. It was her second name. She came here for three months. She even taught me to drive. Eh, Kenny?”

Kenny was silent.

“Come Kenny, come around,” Jimmy said, pulling his son from behind him. Kenny wasn’t wearing a shirt. His stomach was round and protruding. It made him look like an old, pot-bellied man in miniature. His short legs were plump and pigeon-toed.

“I don’t think he likes me, Jimmy,” I told him.

“Ah! Kenny, be a good boy. Nenda kucheza, go play with your toys. He only likes his mother,” Jimmy said, looking at me. “Kenny is sometimes being a bad boy because he will not eat his food. He is always saying he is full. I am worried for my son.”

His round belly and puffy cheeks made it look like he was getting enough to eat, but I nodded. I didn’t see Mama Kenny. From outside I heard a shriek.

“JUNI! Wewe, acha! Ha ha ha. Gracie. Gracie! Njoo!” A loud female voice interrupted Jimmy’s concerns.

“Oh, it is Salma,” Jimmy said, smiling. “She lives with the neighbor. She is craze. She and Gracie (they are both working for the Dihengas), they are so craze.”

When we walked outside I saw two young women, both large and robust. The one was still shouting, chasing around a tiny little boy wearing a sweat suit and tottering unsteadily. She had very dark skin, big eyes, and cornrow braids in her hair. She had a piece of yellow kanga cloth wrapped around her waist. The other had small features that seemed crowded in the middle of her face. She always looked like she was squinting.

“Salma! Gracie!” cried Jimmy, stopping them in their tracks. They both straightened and looked at me.

“Ooooh,” said the short one with the braids. “Mzunguuuu. Wow.”

“Ah!” the other said. “Mzuri sana! Very pretty, very pretty!” The both began to jump up and down, clapping their hands. They burst into song.

“Happy bethday to you! Happy bethday to you! Happy bethday dah friend… Happy bethday to you!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I am Salma,” said the one with the braids, rushing over to grab my hand. She patted it with her own.

“And the other one is Gracie,” said Jimmy. I smiled at Gracie, who blushed and grinned.

“Oh, and Juni, Juni,” said Salma. “Here is Juni!”

She snatched the tiny thing from the ground. He was barely old enough to walk. He had bright eyes, far apart on his face, and a small acorn nose.

“Junior Dihenga,” Jimmy told me, placing his huge hand over the child’s head.

“We must go. You must leave Labeckah alone. She does not like your singing. It is not good and you will never be famous! The dogs are running away now that they hear you,” Jimmy told the girls. They laughed at him and batted their eyelashes, humming loudly. He shook his head and clucked at them. As we walked away they broke into another rousing round of “Happy Birthday to You.”

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New Orleans: A Developing Country in America?

“This isn’t America. New Orleans is like a developing country.”

In the four weeks I’ve lived in New Orleans, I’ve heard this statement from nearly ten different people. Glancing around at the Wal-Marts, the boutique frozen yogurt shops, the SUVs, and the stately houses on St. Charles Ave., it’s been hard for me believe the comparison. But the complaints about the city do parallel those I heard about and witnessed in Tanzania: there is rampant corruption. Nothing works the way it should. Everything happens slowly. The labrynthine bureaucracy slows progress. Change is slow to occur, or absent altogether. People are satisfied with the status quo. Poverty is persistent and pervasive. It’s not safe. The roads are awful and people are bad drivers. And I mean, really bad drivers. Continue reading

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A New Look at Need: Microfinance from Tanzania to New Orleans

This post first appeared on the Kiva Fellows Blog at fellowsblog.kiva.org on Oct. 1, 2011.

In 2009 when I told friends and family I was moving to Tanzania to study international development and to work for Kiva in the field of microfinance, or the furnishing of small loans to the working poor, we all had certain pre-formed ideas about how impactful and necessary my work was sure to be. We understood that in terms of GDP, literacy, infant mortality, and other common measures, Tanzania is a “developing” country, Third World, periphery. In another word: poor. As a recent college graduate, I had established ideas about poverty. It is there as opposed to here, it happens to the Other or them, not to me or mine, and so on. Therefore, a $200 loan for the purchase of a few goats to a thin, ebony-skinned woman with a brightly patterned cloth turbaned around her head made sense; it fit into my worldview, my idea of the face of poverty. The same held true for the fishmongers, the roadside bicycle repair men, and the juice vendors whose loans I helped process and post to the Kiva website. Oh yes, I knew there was poverty in the United States, but a part of me believed that for Americans, it was different. Better. Safer. More comfortable. And who in the U.S. didn’t have access to credit? I was sure that an entrepreneur with a solid business plan would find it relatively easy to acquire working capital.

Continue reading

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Do Not Be Daunted

Do not be daunted by the enormity of the world’s grief. Do justly, now. Love mercy, now. Walk humbly, now. You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it.

-Talmud

A Photo Essay of New Orleans

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‘Malaika’ guitar chords, lyrics, and translation

‘Malaika’ is one of the most famous Swahili love songs, often attributed to the Kenyan musician Fadhili William. He first recorded the song with his band the Jambo Boys in 1960. I heard this song for the first time in 2007 while living with the Kunjombe family in Bagamoyo, Tanzania. My host mother, Mariam, sang this song often. Later, I found this beautiful version performed by Harry Belafonte and Miriam Makeba.

As I’ve done with the other songs, I will provide the original lyrics in Kiswahili, the chords (as best I can), and the English translation. Enjoy!

Malaika

First verse:

D               A                   D          A

Malaika, nakupenda malaika,

D                A                  D         D7

malaika, nakupenda Malaika.

.                    G                                Em    A

Nami nifanyeje, kijana mwenzio,

A                                    D        A                   A7       D       A

nashindwa na mali sina, we, ningekuoa Malaika,

A                                    D        A    A7                     D       A

nashindwa na mali sina, we, ningekuoa Malaika.

 Second verse:

D       A                           D         A

Pesa zasumbua roho yangu,

D      A                             D        D7

pesa zasumbua roho yangu.

.                    G                                Em    A

Nami nifanyeje, kijana mwenzio,

A                                   D       A     A7                     D       A

nashindwa na mali sina, we, ningekuoa Malaika,

A                                   D       A     A7                     D       A

nashindwa na mali sina, we, ningekuoa Malaika,

Third verse:

D            A                      D         A

Kidege, hukuwaza kidege,

D            A                      D         A

Kidege, hukuwaza kidege,

.                     G                                Em    A

Nami nifanyeje, kijana mwenzio,

A                                   D       A     A7                     D       A

nashindwa na mali sina, we, ningekuoa Malaika,

A                                   D       A     A7                     D       A

nashindwa na mali sina, we, ningekuoa Malaika,

Repeat first verse.

English translation:

Angel, I love you Angel.

Angel, I love you Angel.

And I, your young lover, what can I do.

Was I not defeated by the lack of fortune,

I would marry you Angel.

Money is troubling my soul,

Money is troubling my soul.

And I, your young lover, what can I do.

Was I not defeated by the lack of fortune,

I would marry you Angel.

Little bird, I dream of you little bird.

Little bird, I dream of you little bird.

And I, your young lover, what can I do.

Was I not defeated by the lack of fortune,

I would marry you Angel.

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‘Tanzania Nakupenda Kwa Moyo Wote’ guitar chords and lyrics

‘Tanzania Nakupenda Kwa Moyo Wote’ is a beautiful Swahili song that I heard often while living in Tanzania. It is also featured in the documentary “Darwin’s Nightmare,” a film about the exploitative weapons and fish industry on the shores of Tanzania’s Lake Victoria. I highly recommend the documentary to anyone interested in understanding ‘development,’ poverty, and human rights in Africa.

After an unsuccessful search for the tabs to “Mungu Ibariki Tanzania,” I attempted to figure them out myself. I’ve done the same thing here! Again, corrections are welcome. Also, please let me know if you know the lyrics to additional verses.

Tanzania Nakupenda Kwa Moyo Wote

C*         F                  C
Tanzania, Tanzania
G7                                      C
Nakupenda kwa moyo wote
C        F                     C
Nchi yangu Tanzania
G7                             C
Jina lako ni tamu sana
F                                C
Nilalapo nakuota wewe
G                                           C
Niamkapo ni heri mama we
C          F                 C
Tanzania, Tanzania
G7                                      C
Nakupenda kwa moyo wote

verse 2:

Tanzania, Tanzania

nanapo kwenda safarini.

Kutazama Maajabu, biashara nayo Makenzi.

Sitaweza kusahau mimi, nambo neme yakwetu kabisa,

Tanzania, Tanzania

nakupenda kwa moyo wote

The first verse translates (roughly) into English as:

Tanzania, Tanzania
I love you with all my heart
My country Tanzania
Your name is very sweet
When I sleep I dream of you
When I wake I am at peace
Tanzania, Tanzania
I love you with all my heart

*note: The “C” chord sounds good played  like this (I don’t know what the chord is called):

C
–3–
–1–
–0–
–2–
–3–
–0–

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How We Are Entertained

In Afghanistan the ancient sport of buzkashi

is played by men on horseback

and the decapitated carcass of a goat.

The object is to toss the cadaver

into a circle drawn in dust.

It is called the circle of justice.

They whip and beat each other

to make it there, heels digging

into the heaving sides

of the beasts below them.

Spectators smoke opium and hashish

while children run bets to bookies.

They all hope the goat-flesh will last

as the men tear it roughly

from each other’s bloody hands.

*

Under the former regime, the game

was called ‘immoral’ and banned.

But now that the Taliban is gone,

replaced by U.S. tanks and troops,

there is money in buzkashi.

Warlords and tycoons created

in the moral vacuum of war

pull men from shanty towns

and into the ring, mounted

gladiators with a brutal glory

it is hard to fathom.

Working for tips and favor,

the riders are grateful to trade

parched fields for this savage arena.

*

Even games are stories we tell

to quiet the sounds of our weeping souls.

In the performance of defeat–

itself a form resistance–they say:

Genghis Kahn and his Mongol men

once snatched livestock this way,

thieving at full gallop.

So Afghan villagers learned the same.

Hooves beating one worn path

between occupier and occupied,

the terror of bleating goats

and the murder of men between them.

That is the history of this sport–

another pastime that plays at battle.

How dearly we cling to the worst in us.

*

The men compete in a violent frenzy,

mistaking abandon for freedom.

But in the end,

there is no justice for the goat,

headless and torn and later eaten,

that much is obvious.

There is no justice for the man,

having no other way to build

assurances in an unsure world

without this, the tossing of flesh

for the amusement of tyrants.

There is only justice for the horse,

whipped but prized above all else,

for he has won wars

which men are always

losing.

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Impressions on an Anniversary

My parents and I board a plane from Atlanta to New York City on an overcast day in late February. As soon as we enter the long terminal at Hartsfield-Jackson International, I feel the eerie liminality of air travel seal us into artificial limbo. Time and space pause at the beginning of a journey. The plane lurches from the asphalt of the runway and I close my eyes.

On the turbulent flight northward, I can barely breathe. Throughout the course of the two weeks I spend in New York I experience several stretches like this, in subway tunnels or careening taxis, glancing down from a 43rd floor window in Brooklyn, in the rattling elevator of an apartment building in the Lower East Side. Pain, catastrophe, death rattle in my ribcage with a grotesque and imminent familiarity. When the fear passes a rush of gratitude swells within.

Here I collect accents. The soft Russian of the beautician who gives me a facial at a 50% discount. The clipped West African of the street vendor who says, “cash, give me cash” when I buy a pair of cheap faux-designer sunglasses. The unidentifiable lilt of a dark-haired man in Chinatown who mutters, “Louie, Louie, Louie, Chanel, follow me. Louie Vuitton, Chanel, follow me.” The Ecuadorian Spanish of the woman who pours bitter coffee into my mug at a diner I only enter to escape the numbing cold. The sensuous French of the couple behind us at a Broadway play, whispered during the dark of scene changes. The murmured intonations of the taxi drivers who speak low and quick into cell phones with the cadence of prayer as we wend through the dark of our individual lives. Like coins forged in many distant lands, these voices clink and ring together, heavy in my pocket with the weight of the things for which none of our languages have words.

Friday night I go to a recital at Carnegie Hall. The Japanese pianist wears a black velvet suit and purple bow tie. His straight hair is overgrown and flat against his forehead, his skin pockmarked and pale. He plays Bach, Schubert, Chopin. After each impossible rendering he stands and bows. He does not smile. His furrowed brow is solemn acknowledgement of the genius he channels, the utter seriousness of beauty.

The train to the Bronx bounces out of the subway tunnel and into the thin February sunlight. Brick apartment buildings hunch behind a row of trees, their wintery branches adorned with plastic bags that fill and collapse with the breeze. They seem to have gathered there like white sea birds blown inland by some errant wind; when they take off all at once the sound of their wings would beat like the flap of a single giant sail.

In the Bronx Zoo a young gorilla approaches the glass wall between us. He sits on his haunches and peers through. For minutes, none of us moves. Then he lifts one hand and places it tenderly against the glass before turning and slouching decisively away.

I spend the days trekking the long avenues in search brief meetings with friends who call this city home. At the edge of Chinatown, I meet with Steve. The last time I saw him we were in Dar es Salaam and he was in his last month of a two-year stint in East Africa. We slip into a Chinese dumpling joint, get four for a dollar, and find a bench nearby to watch stringy, uncoordinated middle-schoolers play soccer on a concrete court. For reasons I can’t explain, we find very few fond memories from Africa with which to wax nostalgic. Instead we talk books and movies, future plans, our vague discontent with lives still blessed with youth and uncertainty. On the way to a bar for some early-afternoon beers, Steve detours into a ground-level Buddhist temple, a space that was probably converted from a grocery store or laundromat. A young monk in grey robes sits near the front door, patient with our intrusion. Gold-painted Buddhas line the walls, offerings of oranges and vegetable oils cluttering the shrines below them. On one wall, a few dozen black-and-white photos of solemn-faced Asians watch over scribbled prayers pinned neatly to a board. Steve offers pithy observations that I hardly acknowledge as I breathe in air heavy with smoky incense. One block down, we try to enter a Jewish synagogue but it’s under renovation, according to the Hispanic man who answers the door in paint-splattered cover-alls.

In the Metropolitan my friend Claire and I wander through the vast wing of antiquities. We have no map. The statues of gods, and the pots, and knives, and caskets for the dead remind me that the mortal business of living and dying is itself eternal. I pause before a display of ancient Egyptian jewelry. That I would wear it, without irony, is tantalizing. Standing over a mummy encased in glass, I notice she seems so small. I feel alone at the precipice of the long arc of human history. She seems so very very small.

A sliver of light along the edge of a windowsill in a painting by Vermeer holds me captive for nearly twenty minutes. Twenty more lost in the blue of a single fold in the woman’s dress.

The kiss of a former lover leaves something to be desired: another.

There are so many things to taste, to touch, to try in this city. In the theatre district alone at night I stroll around a corner and Times Square blossoms into a  bouquet of light before me. The bright muchness of it all leaves me breathless and dizzy. Do I remember being here before, or has my mind joined the quantum consciousness of a city as organism? I feel a part of something large and waking.

This trip marked the first anniversary of my motorbike accident in Tanzania. One year ago I nearly died but what else can I say about that? Now there is only this–living and wanting and watching and walking every street with wonder.

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After the Rains, the Dudu

The epic battle between the pencil and the watch had nearly reached its climax. My five-year-old host brother Junior was using his considerable vocal range to breathe all the anguish and clamor of combat into the small space above my mattress where he crouched, gripping the sworn enemies in his fists.

Pah!!!! Eh heh. Bam!!! Chuzah chuzah! HA HA!

He leaped up on short, bandy legs and flew to the bed next to us, then on to the floor. Pencil stabbed into Watch, making its fluorescent face flash in agony. Watch pounded Pencil’s head ’til the lead crumbled and left a short gray streak on the pale green wall. Junior brandished the warriors in front of his compact body like nunchucks. His brow was furrowed with all the concentration of a highly-trained imagination. Finally, with one deafening roar, Watch moved in for the final kill. Junior’s arm shot up in the air like a salute, then crashed down, splitting Pencil–my only pencil–cleanly in two. My brother cackled with glee, his face alight with triumph.

Junior, acha wewe! Bas!

I yelled at him–words in Swahili for ‘Cut it out!’ and ‘Enough!’ that I’d learned quickly, from necessity–, and his eyes snapped up to lock with mine immediately. The look he gave me contained no guilt, only reproach, even a little disdain. Junior let his props fall to the ground from his now limp arms. With one last glare in my direction, he shuffled from the room, slamming the door behind him. Continue reading

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The Only Thing That Never Fails

Merlyn’s advice to young Wart, soon to be King Arthur, from TH White’s The Once and Future King:

“The best thing for being sad,” replied Merlyn, beginning to puff and blow, “is to learn something.
That is the only thing that never fails.
You may grow old and trembling in your anatomies.
You may lie awake at night listening to the disorder of your veins.
You may miss your only love.
You may see the world about you devastated by evil lunatics.
Or know your honor trampled in the sewers of baser minds.
There is only one thing for it then.
To learn.
Learn why the world wags and what wags it.
That is the only thing which the mind can never exhaust.
Never alienate.
Never be tortured by.
Never fear or distrust, and never dream of regretting.
Learning is the thing for you.
Look at what a lot of things there are to learn.
Pure science, the only purity there is.
You can learn astronomy in a lifetime, natural history in three, literature in six.
And then, after you have exhausted a million lifetimes in biology.
And medicine and theocriticism and geography and history and economics.
Why, you can start to make a cartwheel out of the appropriate wood.
Or spend fifty years learning to begin to learn to beat your adversary at fencing.
After that you can start again on mathematics.
Until it is time to learn to plow.”
*
I thank Madeline for passing this quote along to me.

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Closer to Fine

The thin layer of skin over the spot on my shin where the taxi crashed into my leg has just formed. Only two days ago it stopped bleeding and draining — the first time in seven months that I haven’t had an open wound. Though for much of this time it was small, it loomed large in the symbolism of this injury and my attempts at recovery. In the face of good news and bad, this small spot persisted. When I first came home it was a hole that went clean to the bone. Before my first surgery, what was visible was a small circle of gleaming metal, the plate that later came loose from my shattered tibia. After my surgeon removed the plate, the spot disappeared for a week before splitting wide again, a jeering smile with teeth of white bone. For months we tried everything we could: silver impregnated bandages, sterile gauze, vaseline dressings, even pure Manuka honey from New Zealand that was promoted on various alternative and traditional medicine websites. At one point, a wound “vacuum” was attached to my leg — a small machine that applied negative pressure to the wound and literally sucked out drainage, blood, and damaged flesh. It made a sound like a coffee percolator. Even that cutting edge treatment failed. The surgeon finally decided the only solution was surgery — to transplant a section of my calf muscle by rotating it over on top of the wound, providing the poorly-vascularized area with increased blood flow. Just as a thick scab covered the wound, I went in for my fifth and final surgery. Once again, the skin was cut open, and for the month following that surgery I continued to bleed from a small hole in that same area. So this thin layer, this translucent, tender area, is a small and tremendous victory in my recovery. I keep it covered and wrapped, just in case. I couldn’t bear for it to split open again. Continue reading

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On choosing a path…

“The place God calls you to is where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

-Frederick Buechner

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Unpacking the Past

About a week ago the five month anniversary of my motorbike accident in Tanzania passed by with little more than a sigh, as if a wind blew in Africa and rustled the leaves of a tree where I once sat, and I thought of its broad limbs at that exact instant. The sight of the small scar on my left knuckle where a knife slipped as I carved open a mango causes me to run my tongue against my top teeth and taste briefly the tangy-sweet flesh of the fruit, sends images of markets and roads flashing vividly across my mind as if my eyes could somehow point backwards into the dark cinema of memory. Continue reading

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